Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Tomorrow's the big day

Submitted by "Sir Roderick Spode, 8th Earl of Sidcup"

Tomorrow's the big day. A new life begins at LANL. When y'all go home tonight you need to set the alarm an hour earlier than normal, polish those 10 year shoes, pick out your best bolo tie, and be ready to show up for work a good 45 minutes early in the morning. It's going to be your first day at work as a brand new at-will employee of LANS, LLC. Suggestion: make it a 'be nice to your boss' kind of a day. Another recommendation for your first new day at work: don't ask about the state of the LLC's finances. Conversations about the budget for FY07 are strictly Verboten. Oh, and hone those writing skills! Rumor has it that LANS, LLC is looking for a fresh infusion of Letters to the Editor for the NewsBulletin. The more scathing, the better!

'Nuff said. Have a good day at work.

Your paranoia is astounding. You should be glad you no longer work at LANL or maybe its the other way around.
Maybe you should view this piece of work first.

I hear there's going to be a new "dress code." LANS lanyards will be required, of course! But no shorts, no open-toed sandals, no T-shirts, no miniskirts, no spike heels, no lip gloss--and that's just for the "boys." The "girls" will have to be their dress AND attitudes. That's just in preparation for even harder times, boys and girls: -Time clocks with strict desk attendance.

We are The Corporation. (You've been living the dog's life up 'til now. Suck it up. SIT!)
# posted by Pat, the Dog : 5/30/2006 09:49:27 PM
Aww shucks! there goes my miniskirt, low-cut blouse, thong underwear, and stilettos.
...looking forward to the time-clocks and bed-checks.
...tired of picking up behind the slackers.

I do have my tie, white shirt and pocket protector ready for the morning. Oh, gotta polish the brown shoes yet.

From: Bill Lumbergh / LANS-DO
To: All LANS Staff

Please remember...

Your TPS Reports will now be due promptly at 9am every morning.
You can download the TPS cover sheets from here:

NO EXCEPTIONS! Get them in by 9am, or else.


From: Bill Lumbergh / LANS-DO
To: All LANS Staff

Oh, and one more thing...

Don't be surfing around that "" site at work if you value
your new employment with LANS. It's a sure-ass way to quickly find
out just what that new "at-will" clause really means.

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