Monday, December 19, 2005

Some of my favorite contributions

Recently there have been criticisms of the community, and the quality (or lack thereof) of contributions to this blog. I prefer to focus on what has been positive, and in that spirit, I would like to review some of my favorite contributions. Leading off is the "Nanos Limerick Contest" from last February when he was still at LANL. The cleverness and humor provided a much needed lift to spirits during the worst time many of us have experienced at the lab.

Over beer this weekend, my friends and I decided that
the tale of Pete Nanos and his war on the laboratory
deserved a poetic treatment. Given the obscenely
ludicrous nature of the situation, the limerick seems
the most appropriate form for this. So we came up
with the idea of a Pete Nanos limerick competition.

After a few false starts (hmmm, what rhymes with
CREM?), we came up with a few to get the ball rolling:

Director Pete Nanos has said,
if you do science you are a butt-head.
So he stopped all work,
that moronic jerk!
Now science at LANL is dead.

Under LANL's new management plan,
if you try to do science you're canned.
Shall we instill a revolt?
Or just give up and bolt?
Either way, it's "game over," man.

Quoth Nanos, "Disks are missing, oh dear!"
"They're neither here, nor here, nor here!"
"You're all cowboys, I say."
"Now we'll do it MY way!"
Make way for intimidation and fear.

These cowboys have met their match!
Just watch, the bad actors I'll catch!
Guilty or not, I'll fire the lot!
With ten men, I'll start over from scratch.

Security lapses must stop!
So Nanos decides to play cop.
After half a year,
the verdict is clear:
Barcodes: a billion a pop.

Oh Nanos, why don't you just leave us?
Your actions really do grieve us.
Those missing disks?
Just labels amiss!
If we're butt-heads, then you must be Beavis!

This was followed immediately by a Nanos Haiku challenge, which promptly produced this gem:


Navy admiral -
Peter Principle applies:
in over his head
These two contributions alone were clearly worth the price of admission.


And what of the merrymaking when Old Saint Nick steps from the black SUV bringing bags of coal?
More the reason to enjoy it now. If UC/Bechtel 'wins' the contract, it will be a glum time indeed on the Hill.

It'll only be marginally better if Old Saint Pete dumps a load of LockMart on us.
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