Thursday, December 08, 2005

Please sign me "Harassed"

Submitted by Anonymous:


Please post this anonymously.

All managers and mentors now must complete the mandatory course #36129, Sexual Harassment Prevention by 12/23. I am including the first screen of the course to show the commitment that UC and LANL have in reducing sexual harassment in the workplace. We MUST spend 2 hours on-line regardless of the actual time needed to complete the training!

Interestingly enough, the mandatory 2-hr course contains about 200 slides with roughly 30 minutes of real content.

Please sign me "Harassed".


Sexual Harassment Prevention AB1825
Course 36129

Length and Time Requirement
This course requires the person taking the course to spend 120 "interactive" minutes in the course. This course is managed by a very sophisticated learning management system ( LMS ) that tracks where you are in the course, how long you spend on each page and when you meet the criteria for course completion and credit. If a person spends more than 3 minutes on any one page, the timer quits counting the minutes. A person taking the course must be on each page between 10 seconds and 3 minutes, but average about 40 to 45 seconds per page (complete 197 pages in 120 minutes). If a person spends only 10 seconds on each page, gets to the last page in about 33 minutes and then lets the course sit on the last page for 90 minutes, the interactive timer in the LMS would record only 36 minutes in the course. Since the course requires one to spend timed interactive minutes, it is best to take the course at the predictive pace established by the vendor so that interactive minutes are logged and the total number is 120 minutes or more. LANL has authorized several employees to access the vendor's course progress/completion records to monitor the actual time spent in the course by any worker.

California Lab AB 1825 sets seven specific quality standards for the required training. Two pertinent training standards are established in the text of the law that says, " . . .shall provide at least two hours of classroom or other effective interactive training and education regarding sexual harassment." The UC Office of the President has contracted with a company that develops and delivers mandatory online courses. LANL selected this interactive delivery method to meet this California law. The course, delivered from a server in California , requires each participant to log 120 interactive minutes before it allows the worker to proceed to the credit page. No one at LANL has authority to override the 120 interactive minute standard or give credit for workers who are able to complete the online course in less than 2 hours.


You don't suppose this sudden urgent sexual harrassment training requirement has anything to do with a recent purported unwanted "tickling" episode where the woman was forced to resign rather than defend herself against sexually abusive managers.

Do you?
Did Gov. Schwarzenegger take this course?
Those who take this test should charge their time to Group Overhead.
That's GROPE Overhead!
Big brother and us whistleblowers are watching so don't even think about cheating on the time!

I think you've put your finger on it. BTW, your sense of humor still "tickles" me.

I wonder whose state laws LANL will have to follow when the new contractor takes over?
This is nonsense. What happens if you are taking the training and:
1. Have to go to the bathroom?
2. The phone rings?
3. The boss walks in?
4. A co-worker or subordinate needs some information?

Does a 10 minute interruption put you back to square 1?

This training is yet another reason to say "HOOKEM HORNS!"
I bought a new watch today, and just programmed the countdown timer for 40 seconds. I'll be practicing my finger exercises just before the holidays. I will promptly go home, have a drink, and be thankful that the taxpayers are helping me have a great vacation after accomplishing so much. My fingers will be tired!

Oh yeah, you guys should just charge it to your favorite program, and then ask the program manager to add the accomplishment of your training to the first quarter report. I'm sure the funding agency will be proud. They'll be sure to send more money next year because they know YOU will not be playing grabass in the office or lab instead of working.
I forgot to mention that if you take too long on the training (say >1min per slide), you might be guilty of taking EXCESSIVE training - and that is waste, fraud and abuse of taxpayer dollars! And don't be waggling your tongue while you do it! That is unsafe. No telling where that air originated... Geez, it might even contain radon, or worse!

Golly I love my job. It is the best comedy club that I've ever been paid to attend.
Sitting on a "naughty stool" for two hours in a corner of the room
just thinking about sexual haressment would be more beneficial than
this LANL on-line training course. Reading the strict timing guide
lines for viewing each page, it sounds like something dreamed up by
a wicked dominatrix. I guess any of the male staff who fail these
strict timing limits on even a single page should be branded as
"bad boys" who will most definitely need to be punished.
Finknottle, I heard a similar story. Do you have any details (who, where she worked, who the firing manager was, etc.)?
Not to be a wet blanket on your fun but when I took the required training and stopped speed reading the pages I came out at about two minutes over the required two hours. And I actually did learn a point or two about what I can be held responsible for if I allow the students or technicians that report to me to engage in 'bad' behavior. After all, it is about covering your backside.

The training is required by California state law not because some ticklish LANL manager can't keep his hands to himself. We dance to the UC tune, sometimes.

And if you have to stop the training for some reason, the application actually remembers where you were and how much time had passed when you stopped. I had to stop half way through and pick it up again later. It worked just fine. Apparantly, this is NOT a software project that was developed at LANL.

Now, if we could just stop having to charge to programmatic codes when we are doing compliance and training. In the aircraft industry they call that fraud because compliance and training is a cost of doing business (i,e, overhead) not a programmatic cost. Back when I worked for LM they had special charge codes for just such activities as these.
Yes, WFOaddict, you're right, sexual harassment is something to be very
careful about in the workplace. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone
with my cheeky comments. It's just that the LANL memo on this training
sounded so completely ridiculous.

One of the best ways to avoid this problem is to think about how you would
feel if someone were "hitting" on your very own daughter in the workplace.
You'd be mad as hell. Well, the young ladies that are subjected to
this (and, yes, it is almost always young ladies) are someone's daughter.
Treat them with the respect you would demand for your own family member.

I also believe it's wise to follow a piece of advise my dad once gave
to me on this subject. When a man needs to hold a meeting with someone
of the opposite sex, always leave the office door open, so there is
no question of impropriety.

With all the time now given on the subject of sexual harassment in the
workplace, you would think that it would become less common. Alas, I
highly doubt that is the case. The unequal power politics that exist
in an office setting is ripe for exploitation. Even our former Prez,
a man of great insight and stature, was eventually brought down by this
weakness. And in his case, the unequal power relationship was about
as unequal as it can get.
"Cheeky" comments? As in, Tommy Hook ('em Horns)?
Clinton's "power" relationship with Monica as unequal as it gets? He with the unlit Cuban cigar?
-Back to the exam! One more try for you, Buster!
Not so fast, "Pat, the Dog". I have an excuse for failing the exam.
Tommy Hook kept lap dancing on me through the whole ordeal, so I
couldn't see the screen. What, you don't believe me? Well here's
the visual proof...


Looks like Tommy's bruises have healed up nicely, no?
good2go, now might be a good time to consider taking the whole pill, and not break them in half any more.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?