Friday, November 25, 2005

I wanted to take this opportunity

Submitted by "Bob Dynes":

[Note: I suspect that this was not written by the real Bob Dynes. --Doug]

Dear LANL Staff,

Some of you have questioned the wisdom of my having approved the expenditure of $871 million this past year on unreported "bonuses" and other monetary perks to my favored upper managers within our little UC family. To help forestall any further criticism of my management skills, I wanted to take this opportunity to let all of you at LANL know a few things.

First, I would like you to know that that we have been keeping a list back here in in comfortable El Sobrante, CA, and we have checked it twice.

Secondly, let me just say, it's my $871 million, and I can slide it under the table to my friends if I want to.

Thirdly, as to the UC brotherhood continuing to pay your previous director that nice, fat sum of $235,000 per year to stay hidden somewhere in DTRA: what's the problem with that? He only has a little more than a year to go before he will have his five years in the UC system, and then we will vest him, as a continued reward for his services.

Finally, back to that list I mentioned. Through careful examination of its contents, we know who's been naughty and who's been nice, and I'm here to tell you that if WE win the contract, the naughty ones can just take a hike. Especially that blog guy. We've had our eye on him for a while now. We managed to "lose" his laboratory associate paperwork for just long enough to cause his clearance to expire. But now that the paperwork got "found" again, I think we can drag out the approval process long enough that he'll never be back again, if WE win.

So, in closing please let me assure you that I've got mine; I gave some of it to my friends, and the rest of you can go pound sand.


"Bob" Dynes

Looks to me like "Bob" has lost his teeth over this one.
Looks to me like Foley is doing the Monica under the table.
Somebody go find Tom Hook. I think I see another whistle-blowing opportunity.
If UC does get the contract then there is no doubt a portion of that $871M went to Domenici in exchange for his benevolent oversight of the contract decision making process.
Thanks for the humor. Great pic of Bob Dynes, who never saw a Lab he didn't like.

Anyone got a pic of Gerald Parsky, the Chair of the UC Regents and Chair of the new LANS LLC? He's another real slime load, and headed the Bush campaign in California. He also ran off the UC Treasurer, who was too "conservative" for his tastes, which later led to UCRS investing in Enron... with a big loss of course. Yes, Mr. Parsky is a real piece of work. Sure to be a big asset in reforming LANL, with cover ups as necessary.
Makes that $79 million Award Fee look like chump change. A little something to pass out with cigars after dinner.
Poor Bob. It looks like he just can't do anything right. First he backed Director Nanos last year. Actually, truth is first he did nothing, then some period of time later he went on record in support of Nanos. Next, he packed Nanos off to DTRA, with lunch money. Then he brought Foley out with him to Los Alamos to "smooth things over". Large mistake, that. Finally, in a masterpiece of bad judgement and poor timing he got caught sliding $871 million of unreported UC funds under the table to his family of upper managers. What next, Bob? We are all numb in anticipation.
Well, Finknottle, as you might have expected, it looks like some ethics training is needed in order to get your mind right.

Direct from the UC At Your Service webpage

"University Introduces Ethics Statement and Standards November 22, 2005

UC President Robert Dynes and Board of Regents Chairman Gerald L. Parsky recently released to the UC community a Statement of Ethical Values and Standards of Ethical Conduct along with an implementation program.

These documents comprise a statement of the University’s values and “renew our longstanding commitment to practices in conformance with those values,” Dynes and Parsky say.

Web-based training to assist employees in applying the standards will be introduced in early 2006."

Be sure to check out the "Statement of Ethical Values" and "Standards of Ethical Conduct" links.
Looks like the south end of a north-facing horse.
Geeeesh - enough already. These morons need to define "Statement of Ethical Values" and "Standards of Ethical Conduct". Now they need an implementation and training plan. If they really do not know what this means at the most basic level then they are truly among the most stupid. I see though that they always seem to take care of the good ole boys and girls with huge salaries and perks and shit on everyone else.
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