Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Dogged if I Know

From Anonymous:

A Parable about Punishment

My wife left town yesterday morning on a business trip. When I got home
from work, I found that one of our two dogs had urinated on the kitchen
floor, leaving a large puddle. There was no way to know which dog had done
it, so I gave them both a beating to be sure.

Later that night, my wife called from her hotel room. She said that she
left the house in a big hurry to catch her plane, and in her haste she
spilled some soda on the kitchen floor. "Did you clean that up, honey?"

Question: what should I do now?

Stand in the window at Macy's and apologize to the dogs. Maybe they will forgive you.
Never admit a mistake! Dogs are all arrogant buttheads, when you get down to it, and they need to be shown who's boss.

Continue the punishment. Beat them frequently. Send them both to obedience school. Have 'em castrated. If you play your cards right, they'll never urinate again, under any circumstances.

As for that wife of yours, I'd consider a divorce. That'll teach her the price of treachery!

-- GPN
It's good that you have dogs. You have to beat a dog quite a lot before it forgets its sense of loyalty and turns on you. However, once that happens, run for hills!
Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.

-- William Shakespeare

John Horne, DX-3
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